Naomi the Wordsmith

Suspended between Two Subjects

In autumn 2020 I started studying my Arts and Humanities degree. Part time, so I could achieve my potential despite my health conditions.

Mixed modules, split between English Literature and Classical Studies. I couldn’t decide which I liked more.

How Things Went at First

Studying a degree is an undertaking with built-in obstacles. To get good grades, you have to work for it.

The first three years went well. That’s not to say there weren’t hiccups, but they were resolved swiftly. I was provided enough disability support from the university for me to thrive in my studies, achieving consistently high grades. I finally felt like I was part of a community of peers.

My interest in the subjects exceeded the boundaries of the course content: I did plenty of my own research!

As a student with sensory and physical disabilities, this was an entirely new and utterly wonderful experience.

How Schools Failed Me

Like so many disabled children, my school years were fraught with discrimination and even outright hostility from teachers. Teachers refused to allow subtitles to be displayed on videos. Others punished me for ‘lying’ about my pain and disabilities. And one teacher even encouraged other students to bully me for being disabled.

This institutional discrimination is the norm for deaf students, with appalling results.

“Latest analysis shows that deaf children across England continue to achieve a whole grade lower at GCSE when compared to all children, and, on average, just over a third of deaf students achieved at least a grade 5 in key subject areas, English and Maths, in 2021, compared with more than half of all children.”

Ian Noon, January 19 2023, in Sen Magazine (bold type is my emphasis)

Despite this adversity, I still managed to achieve my GCSEs.

The problem came with A Levels.

Turned out, at that time there was a loophole in UK law. Schools and sixth forms were allowed to not offer reasonable adjustments for disabled students aged between 16 and 18.

The scope and specifics of this loophole were not well explained to my parents and I. But the powers that be said its authority was indisputable.

Despite achieving one of the best results in my city, every sixth form refused to take me.

My parents and I tried to fight it, but it was a fight we couldn’t win. So I changed my plans. I’d study a degree online, at home, on a part-time basis.

Things Went Wrong

Every year, when the module website opens, it’s so exciting. Students flock to the website. They book their tutorials, tremble at the essays and exams, and talk about what they’re most excited about.

Last year, when the module website opened, I had a very different experience. Most video and audio materials did not have subtitles and transcripts. So much of the course was blocked off to me.

Instead of chattering excitedly with my peers, I was anxious for the future.

I contacted the university and a couple months later, they did add the subtitles and transcripts.

But it was too late.

The stress of trying to learn what I could not hear was overwhelming. Even when I tried to locate alternative sources, how can you guess what it is you’re being taught?

Learning the materials took far longer than it normally did. I was studying for longer hours. My academic life was swallowing up my personal one. Life became all about study. Unsurprisingly, as the year went on I crept closer and closer to burnout.

Overwhelmed and exhausted, my grades suffered. The fact that my grades no longer reflected my academic ability damaged my confidence.

A Changed Perspective

I couldn’t help but reflect on how my circumstances related to the subjects I was studying.

Classical Studies is the study of the distant past. Yet these unnecessary obstacles blocking my progress have appeared, in one form or another, across the centuries.

It’s like a video game boss fight where the boss never actually dies. A manifold and historied enemy.

I studied Frankenstein by Mary Shelley last year which focuses on how what an enemy is depends on perspective.

Both Frankenstein and his creature see each other as morally indefensible and as utterly alien. Frankenstein hates the creature for its ugliness and violence. The creature hates Frankenstein for abandoning him.

The story bound me in a spell.

I felt like the monstrous other (which of course ties in with how disabled people have been viewed for centuries). As I was barred from enjoying the elements of the course, the creature was barred from the pleasures of life.

It was deeply ironic, reading about the consequences of discrimination and cruel prejudice while suffering them in real time.

As I completed that module, I wondered, ‘Will I be making similar observations next year?’

This year

Summer

Even during the summer, the strain on my mental health was unrelenting. I’d checked and double-checked the descriptions of the module that I picked. It was supposed to be fully accessible for deaf students.

“It should be fine. It will be fine. Will it be fine?” I constantly wondered.

Module Website Opens

When the module website opened this year, my heart sank to see that what I dreaded most had happened. There were no subtitles or transcripts for most course materials.

It was happening all over again.

But I was wrecked by the strain of the past year. I couldn’t do it again. Besides, I knew how my results had dropped. And everyone knows the final level of a degree is worth the largest portion of results. If this kept happening, my results would show the effects of discrimination far more than my actual academic ability.

Why I’m Celebrating My Deferral

So my university and I have made an agreement. The university will update their modules to provide subtitles and transcripts. Meanwhile, I will take a year off to recover and focus on building a writing career.

I think things will work out. They’ve apologised. And they’ve been positively engaging with me on solutions. For example, an email I wrote explaining why subtitles and transcripts are needed is shaping their accessibility plans. It’s good to know I’ve started a change that will help future students.

It’s stressful and hard work, being a pioneer of change. But the payoff is huge, for others down the road.

Lessons to Learn

Advocacy is about material change. How do you advocate? Telling your story is a good starting point.

How can educators help? Listen. Your students have stories you need to hear. You can’t reach the solution unless you listen.

What I’ve taken from the experience: Sometimes you need to pull back for a bit to move forwards.